| Update |
[May. 6th, 2005|10:36 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | VHS or BETA - Night on Fire | ] |
i'm still alive. |
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| I Moved To Fresno |
[Mar. 29th, 2005|06:13 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | exhausted | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | tv in bkgd | ] |
Well.. after being at the house for a week I just couldn't take living there anymore.. it was slowly killing me. So my friend Gayle (whom I used to work with at MCI) said I can come and stay with her and her girlfriend Danni in Fresno. So after lots of tears between Anthony and I he drove me halfway to Fresno to meet up with Gayle. They're going to try to help me get financial aid so I can go to school since the apartment is directly across the street from Fresno State! So this new experience will be good for me.
It's just REALLY hard still because I miss Anthony soooooo much! It's beyond explaination how much I want him in my life. :( Hopefully after we both get all of our personal growth and issues in order we might try to give it another shot.. but if not, then I hope him the best in life and I'll always love him...
Tomorrow I'm seriously starting my diet. Gayle and Danni both shop at Trader Joe's (organic/health food store) and I've been wanting to shop there for awhile! So this will all be good! Hopefully I'll remember how to smile and laugh... i just want to cuddle with him and my Maddie right now... *sigh* :-\
Thank you all for your support and words of kindness... I really appreciate it all! |
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| Blank |
[Mar. 28th, 2005|01:00 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  scared | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | silence | ] |
This "grieving process" really sucks... nobody told me it would be this hard... I know I need to get out of this house but I have no energy or wants to leave.. I just want to lay in bed all day and sleep...
i think i'm slowly dying. :(
To top it all off.. Anthony has been acting like a complete ass to me and not even trying to show any compassion whatsoever.. "because i don't care about you anymore" is his answer... that hurts.. a lot. :-\
how can someone you loved that long just turn around and seem like your biggest enemy?
love = confusion |
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| * Shocked * |
[Mar. 26th, 2005|08:57 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | tv in bkgd.. still (vincent) :-p | ] |
My sister-in-law just called me with some good/weird/happy news...
I'M GONNA BE AN UNCLE!!!
She said she went to the doctor and they said she is 6 weeks pregnant! I'm so happy/weird/dunno right now! All I know is I'm grinning from ear to ear! :-D |
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| Maddie's 2nd Birthday! |
[Mar. 26th, 2005|07:31 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | tv in bkgd | ] |
Well here's a "feel good" post for a change... Maddie's birthday was today! :) She is now 2 years old! I went to Skraps (gourmet doggy bakery) and picked her up some of her favorite treats and Anthony got her a rope chew toy. My baby is getting so big! I love that dog sooo much!
Princess Maddie
( Maddie's Birthday Photos Click Here! ) |
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| The Other Guy... |
[Mar. 26th, 2005|07:32 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  predatory | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Moby - Raining Again | ] |
I found out today that "i'm unhappy" really means he's made a new "friend" named daniel... who's place he stayed at last night...but they're "just a friend i met online who happens to be gay"...
not having a car to go anywhere really sucks... yesterday i layed in bed/slept for 23 hours! :-\ i also haven't eaten a thing in 29 hours... i've lost 2 more pounds.. woo! :-\ |
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| Grieving... |
[Mar. 24th, 2005|07:04 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Moby - Slipping Away | ] |
Looked up some same-sex couple breaking up advice/help/support.. found the following excerpt:
Couples sometimes break apart. Even same-sex couples.
In the case of an abrupt ending — especially if one of the partners considered the relationship to be committed and life-long — it can be considered an abandonment. This is traumatic and in need of a lot of attention.
Expect to grieve the relationship for at least eight years. This is normal.
-----------
EIGHT YEARS?!?! *sigh* |
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| Zzzz... |
[Mar. 24th, 2005|06:35 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | drained | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Moby - Raining Again | ] |
nothing hurts when you're asleep...
..oh and since the break-up i've lost 4 pounds :) |
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| it's over. |
[Mar. 23rd, 2005|05:26 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | confused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Moby - Where You End | ] |
the problem i had the last few days was that...
Anthony broke up with me
... he says he was unhappy and hated living here... now i have to find a car.. a new place to live.. and i dunno what we're going to do with Maddie :( why does something like love hurt so much?
anyone need a roommate? *sigh*
~jon
(is it possible to be gay AND a man-hater?)
-------
Moby - Where You End
Some things fall apart
Some things makes you hold
Something that you find
Are beyond your control
I love you and you're beautiful
You write your own songs
But if the right part is leaving
Turned out to be wrong
If I could kiss you now
I'd kiss you now again and again
I don't know where I begin
And where you end
Thought I fell in love the other day
With an old friend of mine
I was running kisses
Down every inch of the spine
We had the roof down
The sun came shining in
The black fact is...
that I was thinking of you
If I could kiss you now
I'd kiss you now again and again
I don't know where I begin
And where you End
I slept in the sun the other day
I thought I was fine
Everything seemed perfect...
Until I had you on my mind
I tried to love you
I did all that I could
I wish that the bad now
Finally turned into good
If I could kiss you now
I'd kiss you now again and again
I don't know where I begin
And where you End
If I could kiss you now..
If I could kiss you now..
If I could kiss you now..
Oh where you end,
Is where I begin.
Oh where you end
Oh where you end
Oh where you end |
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| Thanks for the hugs & support everyone :) |
[Mar. 23rd, 2005|08:41 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | optimistic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Moby - Spiders | ] |
It means a lot to me all the hugs and support you all gave! I love you guys so much! And to top it off.. today I'm going to pick up Moby's new CD 'Hotel'! His music is so "soul touching" and spiritual to me.. it gives me goosebumps just thinking about it! :)
Spiders
-------------
We just had to ask
Maybe some one out in heaven
Would hear us down here
We couldn't bear to stand
How the people leave us waiting
For something up there
Oh, why did you leave?
And why won't you come?
And save us again?
Come back to us spiders
Come uncrush my hand
Let me send beauty rain
And bring us love again, like you can
We just didn't know
Some one there outside in heaven
Heard us down here
We couldn't stand it here
Other people leave us longing
For something up there
Oh, why did you leave?
And why won't you come?
And save us again?
Come back to us spiders
Come uncrush my hand
Let me send beauty rain
And bring us love again, like you can
So much time, we need to ask everything
How did it go, you need it, I got it
Come back to us spiders
Come uncrush my hand
Let me send beauty rain
And bring us love again, like you can |
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| Sucks |
[Mar. 22nd, 2005|08:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cold | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | moby - itunes sample | ] |
Well... my life is taking a hard/weird turn right now.. i'm at a crossroad and don't know what to do.. i don't want to explain it but just know that i need support... *sigh*
~jon |
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| *sigh* |
[Mar. 19th, 2005|08:46 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  lonely | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the hum of the computer | ] |
i need a hug REALLY bad :( |
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| 3 Great CDs In 3 Weeks! |
[Mar. 18th, 2005|10:27 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | ecstatic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Moby - Raining Again | ] |
I'm so stoked! In 3 weeks 3 great CDs will be released! You guys have to go buy these albums!!! :)
Daft Punk - Human After All
Released: 3/15/05
Moby - Hotel (most excited about this one!)
Release Date: 3/22/05
Basement Jaxx - The Singles
Release Date: 3/29/05
-------
You can download a sampler from Moby's Hotel album on iTunes for FREE Hotel Sampler
COMMENT BITCHES! ;) |
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| Hats Are Fun! |
[Mar. 17th, 2005|10:15 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  nerdy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Daft Punk - Robot Rock | ] |
Last night we had to put out an entire top shelf of summer hats at work so needless to say myself and some co-workers HAD to try them on! ;) Thank god for camera phones! :)
I also took Maddie walking/jogging this morning and walked about 2 miles with her. She was beat! LOL I need to walk her more...
Happy St. Patty's Day wishes from an Irish boy! Top O' the Mornin' To Ya! Green Appletini's tonight to celebrate! YUM! |
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| New Order - Temptation |
[Mar. 16th, 2005|09:14 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  jubilant | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | New Order - Temptation | ] |
The first time I heard this song was on the movie Trainspotting (one of my Top Ten movies!) and I fell in love with the song! New Order's 'Temptation'! It's such a great song and puts me in a sad/happy mood... so check it out! (Oh and Moby's new cd that comes out Tuesday the 22nd has a remake of the song!)
Temptation
A Heaven, a gateway, a hope
Just like a feeling inside, it's no joke
And though it hurts me to treat you this way
Betrayed by words, I'd never heard, too hard to say
Up, down, turn around
Please don't let me hit the ground
Tonight I think I'll walk alone
I'll find my soul as I go home...
Each way I turn, I know I'll always try
To break this circle that's been placed around me
From time to time, I find I've lost some need
That was urgent to myself, I do believe
Up, down, turn around
Please don't let me hit the ground
Tonight I think I'll walk alone
I'll find my soul as I go home
Oh, you've got green eyes
Oh, you've got blue eyes
Oh, you've got grey eyes
And I've never seen anyone quite like you before
No, I've never met anyone quite like you before
Bolts from above hit the people down below
People in this world, we have no place to go
Oh, it's the last time
Oh, I've never met anyone quite like you before
Oh no, I've never met anyone quite like you before
------------
CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO IT BITCHES!!!
Anyone else love this song?! COMMENT! |
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| Crazy Hair |
[Mar. 13th, 2005|12:30 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | whatever tivo recorded.. | ] |
WHOA! I woke up this morning and my hair was a MESS! I look like Robert Smith or something! LOL (for those of you who know who that is)...
-----------
EDIT!
Here's one more shot:
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| Roo's Shoes... need advice... |
[Mar. 12th, 2005|09:37 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | chipper | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | energyradio.fm - dance hits | ] |
Which ones should I get? The blue ones or the black ones?
Time for new shoes:
Comment bitches! |
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| Party @ Courtney's Last Saturday |
[Mar. 8th, 2005|07:52 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | EnergyRadio.fm - Dance Hits | ] |
Hey guys sorry I haven't updated in awhile... last Saturday night Anthony & I went to our friend Courtney's for a small party. Good times! Here's a couple pictures from that night...
Me & Josh Rubbing Our "Weiners" Together! WOO!
Anthony & Courtney Being Goofy
( More behind the cut... ) |
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| The Reason I Got Tivo... |
[Mar. 4th, 2005|08:18 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | complacent | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! | ] |
So after wanting Tivo for a LOOONG time I finally bought it the other day because Circuit City had a $150 mail-in rebate! WOO! Tivo is so awesome! I never have to miss another show again... I used to always miss my favorite shows because of me working the graveyard shift.. bleh! The REAL reason I got Tivo was so that I can rewind and slow-mo the fights on Jerry Springer! hehe ;) j/k
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